His Sanity
by serephina pekkala
Summary: his search to find the thing that keeps him sane finds him love


As he stood amongst the pillars of the castle pondering over his indecisiveness, the war raging all around him he caught sight of large, captivating, almond shaped green eyes. there was something in those eyes that made move out of his hiding place and stare at them mouth agape. There was something so powerful in them that made take his mothers wand and yell stupefy at the death eater towering over her ready to kill her next. Now he thinks it was probably the multitude of emotions in them and preemptive tears for the dead friend that her pale hand clutched with so much force like she was clinging on to her life by clinging on to the body. he thinks it was because of the deep sorrow – he knew was caused by the death eaters, the defeat –like she'd given up on life, regret- because she couldn't' save her friend, anger and hate – against the world but most of all he thinks it's the pity for him that he sees when their eyes meet that made him man up and take his stand, that made him choose a side and fight the death eaters, that somehow made the decision of potter saving his life worth it and that somehow healed him and cleared his conscience. After the battle he wanted to find that girl and thank her, hell even kiss her in gratitude but those startling green eyes couldn't be found anywhere. Through time they became his symbol of hope they filled his dreams and nightmares. Those eyes kept him sane when he watched his become a coward and go into Azkaban and his mother go insane over her dead sister and he long lost sister as she tried to fill the gaping hole of a broken family. Sometimes he would wake up screaming at the thought of life ebbing out of those very eyes. He searched for them in parks, in museums. Yes he had indeed ventured into the muggle world when he couldn't find them in the Wizarding world.

He became a healer. It was a way of proving it to those eyes in hope of seeing something more than pity. As a healer he travelled around trying to find new herbs and treatment. On one such occasion when he had to venture into muggle Wales he sees those eyes staring at something distant behind the counter of a muggle coffee shop. He opens the door and makes his way to the counter when she looks up at him he notices that the fierceness in them has been lost. but the realization that he had found them at last made him want to hug her and cry over her shoulder thanking god repeatedly , e wanted to scream and dance around like a little boy but he opted for a quiet " you saved my life ". " good for you Draco Malloy " her tone was musical but lacked life . he wanted to heal her to bring those vibrant emotions back into her eyes somehow he felt responsible for her being broken by the death eaters .he promised to himself that he would stick around and save her he owed her that much. He must have been staring at her for quite some time because she cleared her throat and said." if you don't have to order anything you might as well leave, I have other customers to attend to. "

He left the coffee shop and waited for her shift to get over. When she came out and noticed him she gave an exasperated sigh and asked "did my parents send you to look for me and bring me back. If that's the case then I'm sorry I will not be accompanying you."

"No no I came out of my own volition. Would you like to join me for dinner?"

"No. I have better things to do. So now you can leave"

"At least at a roadside taco shop. It won't take long I promise"

They had reached her apartment, she realized. Suddenly she felt like she had been exposed, like her peace had been destroyed.

"Can you just leave? You don't get to appear suddenly and dictate my schedule. I do not want to see you again."

When she looked up she could see his mercuric eyes dissolving into nothing. Just because she was broken didn't mean she had to hurt everybody around her.

"Look I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to be so harsh. it's just that I don't get many visitors from the Wizarding world ." she gave a hollow laugh and remedied her statement-" in fact I don't get any but since you seem so eager to spend time with me you can accompany me to the orphanage. If I'm forgiven "she added sheepishly.

"Only if I get a hug".

"Don't push it Malloy." a ghost of a smile gracing her lips.

As he spent the day and marveled at her perfection he couldn't help but think how her beauty and Samaritan like personality complimented those eyes.

As the days went by he spent more and more time with her. He got to know her better, her quirks and her sorrows and slowly and steadily he erased the gaping hole in her life and got her to live a little and smile a little.

And like the setting sun fell gracefully and languidly into the outstretched and comforting arms of the horizon they fell for each other.

There came a time of epiphany for Draco when he realized that he needed her like he needed air to breathe and water to live.

it was a particularly somber afternoon in spring while they were strolling across the park filled with cherry blossoms after spending Astoria 's ( he had eventually found her name after getting over the shock of finally finding her by looking at the name tag . then he had thought that she hadn't done a very good job of hiding but maybe it didn't matter because she was in muggle Wales quite far away from home.) birthday with a sumptuous lunch that he gently pulled her under one of the trees , looked into her sparkling eyes tinted under the soft rays of the sun and professed his undying love for her when she started laughing. it was the first he had actually heard her laughing and it was soft and heartwarming.

"Why are you laughing at me? "he asked in mock anger.

"It's just that you look funny when you're trying to be endearing "she said failing to stifle another bout of laughter. He couldn't help but laugh with her and in that perfect moment the air suddenly heated around them, their gazes locked pulling them towards each other and finally their lips met her soft ones against his dry in a searing unforgettable kiss forever.

When they finally broke apart, a teasing smile playing on her lips Astoria said "I don't love you too "

Draco laughed at his cheeky girlfriend (yes it was official now) as he pulled her in for another kiss all the while thinking as to how he had finally found his guardian angel and how of ever asked he would always say that that day (24-6-2014) was the happiest day of his life.

He had finally found retribution. He had fund his guardian angel and now he did see something more than pity in those eyes he saw the love for him

As she was kissed again by Draco she couldn't help thinking that letting him break her peace had been a happy mistake. She was actually happy and Merida would be proud she had finally found love and someone who accepted her for who she was. She didn't have to hide in the shadows anymore.


End file.
